We have mandated company scripts for Pre-flight, inflight FA briefings, and PAX briefings. Personally, I have heart felt personal briefings to friends and colleagues.
I’m a Buss driver based in South Florida. Any student pilot over 14 years old can forecast building cumulus (very bumpy and physically dangerous to anyone not strapped in tight) from 2,000-16,000 at least every single afternoon from March until October.
Our outfit mandates an “Initial Descent” PA before, well, initial decent" which is basically a polite heads up on touchdown eta, Wx they ignore and final credit card sales ptches, and a “Final” PA at 10,000 AGL mandated where the FA’s go running up and down the aisle cleaning garbage and verifying seats belts et al, are correct.
Then we have “Approach Briefs”. Many seem to think those should be given when instructed to descend and the radio is getting busy, rather than during the previous 2 1/2 hours of discussion on Religion, Politics, abortion and mandated covid anything.
Then I subtlety inform our FO qualified Chuck Hoovers, and generally younger Alan Armstrong’s planned Mach.80/340 kt planned descent to 10,000 to something survivable like .78/285 kts, with wiggle room for through, and around the build ups and shortcuts.
I find sometimes the most effective CRM starts with “Alan (attention getter), I’m not comfortable being violated, and killing half our people back there, are you F-ing nuts?, Now pull your head out of your MCDU and look out the window to see what we’re descending into . Please”. Because , you know, CRM/ADM/and Error something or other, that’s a brand new way of speaking to people, mandated by people that sit in Universities and not airplanes.
One word on the Initial and Final FA Briefs, While preparing to descend from 36K, If I suspect it may be mildly turbulent, I don’t want them running up and down my airplane at 10,000’ doing anything. I brief the Lead FA, “when you hear Initial, please complete your Final duties and strap in for the rest of the flight”.
For friends (or anybody lucky enough to be sitting next to me at The Dew Drop Inn, I generally loop “The Ballad of the Uneasy Rider” on the juke box) and tell them my real brief.
Stay with me for my rant.
While participating in MP Officer Basic car chase day, a collective sigh was heard when we were told we can’t pull our (weakling) 9mm, and fire out of the window (Bad guys always turn left), It seems LE tends to crash as well, so unfortunately F=MA says the pistol goes flying into the woods, then you become the un armend target.
If an airplane comes to a sudden stop (happens, not infrequently) your less than 24 month old child will become a projectile, as well as your more important possession. Your phone. Because of this annoying F=MA problem.
- The safest place to sit is to be the first person out of the flaming conflagration. Sit in an exit row. I’m paid to be last out of the cabin. Be the first out.
- Phone off and in a secure pocket., someone else can get the YouTube vid for ABC. You’re are going to want a charged phone while standing and confused on the runway the tearp after leaving a smokey hulk in a strange country. Call your family., then turn your phone off again. You’ll need a reservation and place to stay to get into a strange country.
- Two days of required meds in a pocket.
- Wallet and Passport on your person.
- Always where long pants, a shirt and some sort of appropriate jacket with pockets. Fires are hot snow is cold.
- Your keys, car and house on person.
6)Once outside the airport doors stay away from large groups of very sad children. Sad, but they are good at converting your stuff to their stuff.
Congress should pass a bill authorizing public, corporal punishment for anyone reaching into an overhead during our outdated emergency evacuation certification procedures.
All this to say, be a pal, seat your FA’s early.