I've been wrong about so many things, so I'm announcing that I've seen the flashing lights at the bottleneck in the tunnel-of-irony and am changing my ways. Everything I thought I knew about leading a healthy pilot's life is, apparently, wrong. This occurred to me while staring up at the ER's fluorescent lights—one was flickering; where the hell's the janitor?—and contemplating the elephant, not only in the room, but squatting on my chest. I'd suffered a heart attack. Here's the backstory. (This might get boring so feel free to switch to the video of the kayaker getting slapped with an octopus).
This is a companion discussion topic for the original entry at https://www.avweb.com/flight-safety/yes-dorothy-ive-had-a-heart-attack