Ah, autumn -- birds on the wing, a crisp snap to the air, and pumpkins falling from Cubs. For those seeking the true meaning of flight you need only look to southern Iowa, where at an undisclosed location, close to the Maharishi TM University, unfettered by TFRs, the Annual Great Pumpkin Bombing and Chili Shootout went off without so much as a major reportable catastrophe.First the boilerplate disclaimer: Under FAR 91.15, titled, "Dropping objects," pilots in civil aircraft may not allow objects to be dropped in-flight if the droppings create a hazard to persons or property. It's worth noting that 91.15 precedes 91.17, which prohibits doing this while drunk. Sharp legal minds have long noted that despite its negative tone, 91.15 specifically encourages (in this legal mind's opinion) dropping of objects. It states, "However!" (exclamation point added for emphasis), "This section does not prohibit the dropping of any object ..." And then there's some fine print about taking "reasonable precautions" to avoid injury. So, armed with reason and FARs, a dozen mostly civil antique airplanes rendezvoused at a secret airfield in the hills along the Missouri border where federal statutes have always been seen more as obstacles than mandates. Pilot names and aircraft registration numbers have been sanitized in the interest of taking "reasonable precautions." Suffice it to say that the average airplane was 50 years old, and the pilots about the same age. Most were armed with shotguns for the morning's skeet contest in which free-range skeeters were released before a line of near-sighted shooters who mostly tossed a lot of lead shot into nearby trees. After that, a light lunch of chili, Doritos, and crme soda was served, followed by a military-style pre-mission briefing. Nervous anticipation hung over the assembled crews like an unclaimed bean fart as Commander Sparky (not his real name) sketched the bombing mission. "Gentlemen," he called. "Try not to hit my car again this year." Then with a steely glance at the flight crews, knowing that some would not be coming back because the chili was gone, he said, "I gotta take a leak." Most of us took that as the code for, "Pick yer pumpkins and Godspeed."The object of the bombing was to recycle 332 pumpkins gleaned from area grocery stores and front porches after Halloween. As youngsters, we would've simply smashed them on street corners by tossing them out the back of a '57 Dodge; but as aviators, someone discovered that surplus pumpkins could best be disposed of from 500 feet AGL. But, as Curtis LeMay -- godfather of the Strategic Air Command -- knew, that's not as simple as it first appears. To bomb anything back into the Stone Age takes advanced math.
This is a companion discussion topic for the original entry at https://www.avweb.com/features/zen-and-the-art-of-pumpkin-bombing