Here’s where I think you are right: Perhaps allowing Finland into NATO is too confrontational and inflammatory.
Here’s where I think you are wrong: Containing aggression of nuclear powers when they misbehave is MORE important than if they are not nuclear powers. Which is why we, and the others, are doing the right thing by supporting Ukraine from this invasion. Putin used everything except the weather to try to justify this invasion. Arguing as if NATO expansion was the real reason is a stretch.
Lastly, from a realpolitik standpoint, it certainly seems correct to let the Ukrainians teach the Russians a lesson.
The Ukrainians wisely want to use their limited resources to get better air superiority, while the Air Force brass want to use Ukrainian resources to solve their political issues.
It does put the lie to the position that the AF is playing 3D budget chess when it tries to rid itself of the A-10 without a true replacement. Somebody in Congress needs to grow a pair and tell the Army they can start planning to replace the A10 themselves.
No more stupid agreements on who gets what toys. Mission first, egos last.
So are we (USA) going to continue to give Ukraine 100’s of billions every 6 months or so for years? Is Ukraine worth the economic destruction of the US? I doubt Russia will be taught a lesson. They are in this for the long run. This will end with Russia being given most of the Donbas region which is occupied by millions of ethnic Russians who never wanted to leave Russia and Zelenskyy will personally pocket billions stashed away in his personal bank account from skimming off the billions in aid.
Send them that “Assault Airplane with the thing that goes up”, shoots fast enough to blow your head off your neck, and never runs out of bullets so deadly that they should only ever be used by the police, without body armor.
So it is as suggested earlier in this forum - need air superiority to avoid A-10s getting shot down.
My modest understanding of the war by Russia on Ukraine is that both sides have significant ability to shoot down aircraft, so Ukraine uses its aircraft cautiously.
What Ukraine could use is missiles capable of hitting Russian airplanes launching missiles from over Russian territory. US does not like that notion, thinking it would be interpreted as US involvment in the war.