“Say intentions”
I have very few peeves. I have fewer peeves when it comes to talking on the radio. Want to ask “traffic in the pattern, please advise?” Go ahead. Want to make a “departing north, last call”? Sure, don’t care. Wanna “take the runway”? Take it, it’s yours.
But controllers, one of the most unhinging and unhelpful radio calls during an emergency is: “Say intentions”. Even worse, if I don’t respond in 0.523 seconds with a detailed narrative about how I’m going to get out of this pickle, I’ll get a bit more firm radio call: “Cessna N1234, SAY INTENTIONS”
“Well center, my intentions are to fly to KABC, grab a 1/2lb fire grilled cheeseburger with fries and shake. Walk it off a bit around the airport and the local boardwalk. Sit down and take a load off before the return, take off, land back home, quickly cut the grass and grab some hot tub time….that is my intention.
However, someone pulled the chute on the blow-up doll mid-flight, I’ve got a guy in the back trying to get the door open, another guy taking pictures of the most unusual situation with said anamorphic balloon and I think my engine just quit. My intentions be damned”
Instead just say “CessnaN1234, understand you have an emergency, how can I help?” Maybe, throw in a “CessanN1234, closest airport is at your 020, 20 miles”. And if you really want to help, throw in the CTAF for that local airport. But please, don’t ask what my intentions are. My intentions for this flight, just like every other flight, is to land safely.