My first biological emergency almost five decades ago involved the FAA, fire trucks, an ambulance, the state police, and many hundreds of witnesses.
It was almost noon on a beautiful fall day with no wind or clouds. Chugging along in my tandem Taylorcraft, a weakening bladder compelled me to land on a deserted gravel road not too far from Dallas Center, Iowa. The landing was easy, but as the problem with my bladder was going to be resolved in just a few seconds, I decided to exit my airplane with the engine running. In a desperate hurry, I attempted to climb from my war-surplus tandem Taylorcraft, which even under the best of circumstances took a bit of flexibility.
On this hurried day, with my right foot firmly on the ground, I accidentally kicked the side-mounted throttle wide open with my left foot, and the Taylorcraft roared into action. I grabbed the nearest wing strut, but even with the added weight of a completely full bladder, I could not restrain my airplane, and my Taylorcraft took off, perfectly willing to prove to me that she could fly just as well without my help.
Well, that didn’t workout for either of us, and seconds latter, she was resting on her nose in a shallow, water-filled ditch. It got perfectly quiet after that. I looked about, not a soul could be seen across that flat, treeless prairie horizon, but within the shortest amount of time a parade of vehicles with flashing red lights arrived, accompanied by an army of the curious.
To make a long story short. I walked a block or two up the road and sat down, trying to hide from the crowd, bladder still full. Eventually a man in a dark suit walked up to me and sat down in the grass, introducing himself as being from the FAA. He asked what happened. I told him. He nodded in apparent understanding, went back to my airplane, took off his jacket, and organized the firemen into a team to rescue my Tayorcraft from the ditch. Afterwards, he gave it a quick inspection, removed a dented wheel pant and put it in the back seat and then explained to me that I had experienced a miracle and that my airplane appeared to have escaped any serious harm. The powers that be then cleared the road, the FAA man swung my propeller, and I flew on to my destination, bladder issue still unresolved but smarter for the experience.