I dumped a Harley Davidson. They taught me how to ride, but never taught me how to pick one up. And at 900? Lbs, I couldn’t do it. Had to have another biker help me. Luckily the only damage I have done to an aircraft is take out a wing tip light. After 21 years of flying.
I’ve dumped a bike too. And had to ask a passing motorist to assist my righting the fallen steed. Fortunately, I’ve not crashed a plane. I’ve crashed cars, and interestingly, been crashed INTO twice, both times could have easily killed me, if it were not for luck. Oh, wait, there was a third time when I was T-boned by a Yellow Taxi running a light in the rain. My 1970 VW swung around on it’s skinny tires and I ended up going backwards into a fire hydrant, which of course broke and sent a geyser of water skyward.
I’ve now discovered horses. But at my age, I have no intention of galloping or jumping. Prancing dressage style might be as far as I go. But what I find most satisfying is just being with my new equine acquaintance. Grooming takes a lot of time and is a pleasant bonding experience. She becomes very relaxed when I curry and brush her. Her muscles relax, her eyelids droop, she occasionally swings her head around to nuzzle me, and occasionally, she’ll lazily lift a foot. On the other hand, for me, it is a bit of workout, especially bending over and cleaning her hooves. Overall though, the experience for me is surprisingly calming and rewarding. Who knew?
So were the 350 and 450’s CB’s or CL’s ? I had 'em, too.
I loved this.
Paul, Thank you for the chuckles this morning! You’ve made my Monday start off on the right foot.
Looking back at my past, I’ve got the trifecta of crashing both MC and AC and being ejected from my steed. The steed was correct as I was inebriated and had NO business…
Somehow I managed to escape without a moniker.
I look forward to your next offering.
Have you also discovered that horses are more expensive than planes?.. 
“puffuppery” Why can’t I think up words like this?
Not yet, although the “paddock boots” were the most expensive shoes I ever bought!
Paul, you are funny!
Haven’t had so many chuckles in years. Thanks.\/r
Lee
It has been said that “The basis of all humor is the misfortunes of others”–and you’ve certainly proved that adage!
Love the alliteration and obscure references–causes one to stop and consider the reference, and to re-read the passage–resulting in MULTIPLE LAUGHS.
MORE, PLEASE!
I can attest the bottom of the bucket doesn’t work either as a platform… and riding motorcycles like flying planes is a constant learning experience. I didn’t drop one for almost 40 years until backing down a hill using the wrong break on a new BMW R1250GS Adventure. It was a slow drop that didn’t leave a scratch. But, it left me humiliated, because I immediately knew I braked wrong going backwards, and worried if I could pick up this very large bike. Luckily I studied how to properly pick up the bike without causing injury, just in case. It was much easier than I thought lifting it the correct way, so I did end up with a broken back. I’ve seen the panicked lift after a drop, hurt people more than the crash.
Think, before reacting.
I still have a Harley, and hadn’t dropped a bike in 40 years… I didn’t study how to pick up a bike until I got a rather large dual sport BMW R1250GS Adventure with a 8 gallon tank. It is a bit like going off road on a Honda Gold Wing. My greatest fear was trying to pick it up, if I dropped it. It has crash bars all over it, so I figured it was designed to fall over in the dirt. I wouldn’t have ever got it picked up, without doing it the right way. I can’t arm and back lift 750lbs anymore without casing serious injury to the back.
The squat and push away with the legs and butt is a must to learn.
Never got into horseback riding… my first ride was bareback using dog leashes on the bridal of a horse that had not been ridden in years… she tried every way she could to get me off her back. And was only successful by scraping me of entering a low part of the barn.
After that I always felt sorry for the poor horse. I was rather skinning as a young man. In Spain I thought I was going to kill the poor horse it was sweating so bad. At 6’2” 200lbs I was probably the largest human to ever be on its back.
Horses are a bit like dogs… if it isn’t yours, you don’t really know if it will try to bite you.
Can’t stop laughing. "An ugly sound. Like a clogged toilet exploding from a cherry bomb inside a Jersey Turnpike rest stop. "
One of his better, more memorable quotes. I recently broke 5 ribs in a fall from 10’ up a ladder, and it hurt this morning reading this!! Bravo!
John’s Law states that the severity and degree of stupidity of an event is directly proportional to the quantity of observers of said event. (I made that up - mostly from years of experience). Had no one been there to witness the bucket lid fail, it would have most likely supported him ( ie: if a tree falls in the woods, and no one is there to hear it……). And as for motorcycles, I relate a recent event that my son witnessed first-hand. He pulled into a parking spot, along with my just-4-year-old grandson, at a convenience store. Moments later, a beautiful BMW bike pulled in beside him and the rider proceeded to dump the thing onto the pavement. Fortunately, only his pride was hurt, and it took both adults to right the beast. As the rider collected his thoughts (and what little remaining pride that existed), my grandson announced boldly, “You are supposed to put your feet down first!”
Had a CB350 in college, sold it to take flying lessons. Mom hated both modes of transportation! Ever tear down a bike in a 12 x 12 dorm room? My buddy did and rebuilt what was needed.
As far as doing dumb stuff, I’m not sure if backing the plane into the hangar corner or getting the lumber company’s box truck stuck under a railroad overpass was worse. We all learn the hard way at times.
Tragedy, in time, becomes comedy.
Damn fine missive!